The man who wanted to be a skeleton — and how his family made it happen
Christopher Gray’s final wish? To be a skeleton
Christopher Gray, a longtime New York Times columnist, had one unusual request before his death: he wanted to become a skeleton, a wish his family worked tirelessly to fulfill.
NEW YORK - Christopher Gray was a man obsessed with things that were left behind.
"My dad, Christopher, he wrote for the New York Times for 25 years. He wrote a column called streetscapes. Basically, he wrote about the history of an old building," said Olivia.
A lifelong obsession that became a distinguished career, one that makes even more sense now that he's gone.
"Now that he's dead. I've come to fully understand and appreciate that. You know, he wrote about old buildings and the history of old buildings, but he didn't just write about the architectural style," said Olivia Konrath.
You see, Christopher Gray had a wish before he died, a very specific wish.
"He was very open to being an oddball. That's — that's Christopher Gray as a living person," said Olivia.
Christopher Gray wanted to be a skeleton.
"Like we were sitting around the breakfast table in our kitchen in New York, and my dad was like, I just want to let you know I've made my decision. It's, you know, we're going to do this. We're going to. I would like to be a skeleton," said Olivia.
Christopher's Wish
The backstory:
Christopher Gray's daughter, Olivia, was used to hearing her father talk about death. It's a conversation she grew up with.
"It was a common thing to talk about. So there was like, talking about what he wanted to do with his body when he died was something that, like, growing up was like a normal thing to happen," said Olivia.
You see, Christopher was a man who knew what he wanted both in this life and the next.
"A month before he died, he emailed my mom, my brother and I, 'When I die, I would like my bones to be flints, my principal organs removed and pickled, and I would like my skeleton to be displayed at Saint Paul's and my school,'" said Olivia.
It was a month later that Christopher suddenly and unexpectedly found himself in the hospital. He never came out.
"We're finding ourselves crying and also laughing. My dad is putting us on this chase," said Olivia.
In addition to grief, Olivia felt something else in her moment of loss. Pressure.
"Oh my God, like what? We need to make a skeleton. And I feel like this is my dad playing almost a joke. But also it's a gift in this moment too, because it's giving us something to focus on," said Olivia.
Just ask yourself: if your family member wanted to be a skeleton after they died, who would you call?
Olivia and her family spent every moment following Christopher's death trying to make his final wish a reality.
His doctors had no idea. A taxidermist turned them down. A university body donation program refused to return the bones, and that's when the idea hit them.
"And my sister-in-law, Nicola, was like, what about the Smithsonian Museum?" said Olivia. "There's so many skeletons there."
And would you know it? The Smithsonian Museum in Washington, D.C. has a relationship with the University of Tennessee body donation program.
"Let's see if we could arrange a deal to, like, pick the bones up when they're ready, and we'll just put it together, because this is continuing education for people. And so that's what we figured out," said Olivia.
All of this figured out, arranged and executed within 48 hours of Christopher's death. But now they have to get Christopher Skeleton fully assembled from Washington, D.C., to his alma mater high school in New Hampshire. That means only one thing. It's time for a road trip.
The Road Trip to New Hampshire
Big picture view:
Olivia asked her Aunt Erin, a professional photographer, to join her on the 400-mile journey not just for the support, but to capture this final journey with Christopher.
"It was so special that she asked me, I think two folds. One. She did want it to be documented," said Erin Konrath. "As a photographer. I was like, what a gift to be able to photograph like something that has never, ever been done before."
She's not wrong.
The images captured over the course of their road trip are everywhere. They're stunning.
The point? They're weird. And yeah, they're oftentimes hilarious.
It's the kind of story that should be documented. And in fact…
"Once we both were like, really, really buzzing with excitement about what we were about to do, and we both agreed, like, the world should know this story," said Erin.
The two found a documentary team who jumped at the opportunity to chronicle their journey on video, a journey that took them ten days and resulted in the short film, appropriately titled, "My Dead Dad."
It's a story that's been met with different reactions from people.
"The first reaction that comes up is like, almost like they're offended," said Erin.
"Right? Or like afraid," agreed Olivia.
"Afraid, offended. But then after they sit with it a little bit, they come to, they come to accept it. People our age think it's like, so cool. It's very interesting. The reactions are all over the board," said Erin.
Understandable, sure. But at the end of the day, this isn't a story about death. It's a story about life.
A story of a man who, even from beyond the grave, is bringing people together, is making them laugh and reminding them, no matter what, to never stop.
"Living. I think he would say, you know, in the simplest of terms, I think he'd say, you know, like he really understood the assignment. So I think my dad would be extremely proud," said Olivia.
To learn more about their incredible journey, visit @deaddaddytrip on Instagram — and to see more of Erin's beautiful photography, check out her work @erinkonrath.
The Source: Information from this article came from an interview with Gray's family.